Do you take full responsibility in your relationship with your dog, or do you look for someone to blame when things go wrong? The concept of "extreme ownership," drawn from military leadership, can revolutionize your approach to dog training. Instead of complaining about challenging behaviors, you gain real influence over changing them—starting with yourself. Read on to learn how it works and what you can do to become the true leader of your team: you and your dog.
What is "Extreme Ownership" and Where Does the Term Come From?
The concept of "extreme ownership" originates from a team management theory developed by former Navy SEAL officers Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. In their book Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win, they describe how leaders take full responsibility not only for their own actions but also for everything that happens within their team, regardless of circumstances. This approach eliminates excuses and blaming others. It reflects a readiness to take control of a situation by accepting responsibility for every aspect of the team’s performance.
Extreme Ownership in Working with Dogs
A human and a dog form a team in which the human plays the key role of leader. Dogs do not understand human norms of behavior or distinguish between desirable and undesirable actions. It is the human’s responsibility to guide the dog through the human world and teach appropriate behaviors. The principle of extreme ownership applies directly here, as it requires the owner to take full control of themselves, the dog, and the situation—without shifting blame to others.
Principles of Extreme Ownership in Working with Dogs
- Full Control Over Yourself and Your Team:
Extreme ownership means controlling yourself, your reactions, and the behavior of your dog, who is a member of your team. The more control you take, the greater your ability to influence the situation and achieve better results. - No Blaming Others:
A good leader doesn’t blame other people, the environment, or the dog itself. They don’t blame the neighbor for their dog’s reactivity or their partner for leaving shoes out. Instead, they take full responsibility for what happened. - Focus on Solutions:
Instead of wasting energy on blame, a leader asks: “What did I do to cause this problem?”, “What can I do differently to prevent it in the future?”, or “How can I adjust my approach to achieve better results?” This solution-oriented mindset opens new possibilities for improving the dog’s behavior.
Why Saying “My Fault” Works
Blaming others—people, the dog, or circumstances—shifts responsibility outward, leaving you powerless and the problem unresolved. Extreme ownership changes your perspective: instead of being a victim of circumstances, you become a leader who actively seeks solutions. Saying “my fault” empowers you to change both your approach and your dog’s behavior. This approach not only improves your relationship with your dog but also builds your confidence as a leader.
Real-Life Examples
Example 1:
During consultations, I often hear things like: “That’s just how my dog is,” “It’s the breed – they jump and bark a lot,” or “No one has ever managed to teach a dog like mine any manners.”
These are some of the most common excuses people use when, instead of looking for a solution, they try to find someone – or something – to blame.
In this case, the dog ends up being blamed, even though it has no idea how it’s supposed to behave on its own. If no one teaches the dog what’s expected, and it’s allowed to continue behaving naturally – even if that behavior is problematic – then of course it will keep doing it, potentially for the rest of its life.
Example 2:
You take your dog to the park and let them off-leash. They run up to someone and scare a child. Instead of asking what could have been done differently, you might blame others: the child shouldn’t have been in the park, people are scared for no reason, or someone should have warned you. With extreme ownership, you admit, “This is my fault.” You prevent such behaviors, manage the situation better, and learn to anticipate risky moments to avoid problems.
Summary
Extreme ownership is a powerful tool that enables a person to become a better leader for their dog. By taking full responsibility for your actions and your dog’s behavior, you gain control over the situation and open the door to effective solutions. Instead of making excuses, you focus on what you can change to improve your dog’s behavior and the functioning of your team. This approach requires humility but provides real power to create positive change.
