Is there such a thing as etiquette in the world of dogs—a set of rules that helps a dog perceive a stranger’s behavior as polite or respectful? If you're a dog lover, this question has probably crossed your mind more than once. In this short article, I’d like to introduce you to three simple yet important rules that will help you make a good impression on an unfamiliar dog and earn its trust.
Three Rules for Interacting with an Unfamiliar Dog
When you're around a dog you don't know, it's best to follow these three basic guidelines:
- Don’t stare into the dog’s eyes,
- Don’t touch the dog,
- Don’t speak to the dog.
Why are these rules so important? What does breaking them look like in practice, and how can we use them in everyday situations? Let’s dive in.
Don’t Stare into the Dog’s Eyes
If you have a more sensitive or reactive dog, you've likely noticed they don’t appreciate people who stare at them—especially those who try to hold eye contact for too long. Interestingly, this behavior often comes from people who are actually afraid of dogs and would prefer not to engage with them at all.
But how is prolonged eye contact perceived from a dog's perspective? Here's where I might disappoint some readers: in the canine world, staring directly into someone’s eyes is considered a challenge or even a provocation. In extreme cases, it can be seen as an invitation to a confrontation.
So, if you want to avoid a conflict with an unfamiliar dog—or better yet, gain their trust—avoid staring directly into their eyes.
Sure, there are people who have never had any issues despite breaking this rule. But it’s always better to develop habits that are respectful, universal, and more likely to be interpreted by all dogs as non-threatening.
Don’t Touch an Unfamiliar Dog
Humans are tactile creatures. We often use physical touch—like a handshake—to greet others and show respect. But how do dogs interpret being touched by a stranger? Is it polite or acceptable from their perspective?
While many dogs may tolerate being petted by strangers without showing signs of stress, that doesn’t mean they actually enjoy it. Touch is far more intimate to a dog than a handshake is to us. And many dogs simply do not want to be touched by someone they don’t know.
In fact, trying to pet a dog you don’t know can lead to the dog becoming uncomfortable—or worse, to a bite. For many dogs, such contact is extremely stressful and far from enjoyable.
How can you tell if a dog doesn’t want to interact? Pay attention to their body language. If a dog turns its head away, licks its lips repeatedly, yawns, tenses up, or breathes heavily—it’s stressed. That’s your cue to back off and give them space.
Don’t Speak to an Unfamiliar Dog
During walks, I often see people trying to get a dog’s attention by calling it, whistling, making kissing noises, or talking to it in a playful voice. But how does this look from the dog’s point of view—especially when a stranger should just calmly walk by?
Yes, some dogs will react positively and approach the person enthusiastically. But that doesn’t mean it’s the right approach for every dog.
If you don’t know what kind of dog you're dealing with and you want to be perceived as non-threatening by all dogs—not just the sociable ones—don’t talk to unfamiliar dogs. For a sensitive or fearful dog, your voice can be interpreted as a threat or a form of pressure, and instead of a friendly reaction, you might get barking—or worse.
Summary
Dogs are not toys that are expected to passively accept every human interaction just because it’s convenient or pleasant for us. If you want every dog to see you as “polite” in their language, all you need to do is follow three simple rules:
- Don’t stare,
- Don’t touch,
- Don’t talk.
Knowing and applying these rules in everyday life can make a real difference. If more people followed them, we’d see fewer incidents involving bites, fear, and misunderstandings between humans and dogs.
